Falling In Love With Your Kids (Continued)
by Stephanie Marston, M.F.T.

(posted 2/01/02)

Take Your Kids To A Special Place
Somewhere out of the ordinary so that they will have a memory of sharing a special place with you.

When my daughter was eight, I took her to a sacred Anasazi Indian site outside of Santa Fe, New Mexico, where we were living. It was something I'd always meant to do with her, but somehow I had not ever managed to allocate the time. Even on this day I felt guilty because of all the other "important" things I should be doing instead. Nevertheless, we went.

The site was in the desert and had Indian petroglyphs and pottery shards on it. We carried paper, ink and an old tennis ball wrapped in a sock to make stone rubbings.

As it turned out, we spent the whole day sitting on the cliffs overlooking a vast expanse of desert making stone rubbings, picnicking, collecting pottery shards, and sunning ourselves on the rocks like lizards.

On the drive back Ama unrolled her pictures and looked at them proudly. She was obviously delighted that I had shared this special place with her. As soon as we arrived home, she took her rubbings and her bag of shards and ran over to her friend Alba's house to show off her treasures. That evening as I said goodnight to her, Ama smiled up at me and asked, "Can we take Alba and Celia to show them our special Indian place?" I wondered to myself how I could have ever doubted the worth of this day.

When you share a special place with your kids you include them in your world in a unique way. You say to them, "I enjoy you and want to share a special part of me with you." As a result they feel valued and respected.

In our next column we begin our discussion of the dreaded "D" word Discipline. I know you'll want more information to what is typically the most challenging aspect of parenting.

Stephanie Marston is the author of If Not Now, When? Reclaiming Ourselves at Midlife. To learn more about her book, visit her website at: www.stephaniemarston.com. Click here to read a sample chapter of If Not Now, When? Reclaiming Ourselves at Midlife If you would like information about Stephanie speaking to your organization, please call 505-989-7596.