Tis The Season To Teach Our Children About Giving
by Stephanie Marston, M.F.T.

(posted 12/21/01)
The Holiday Season is upon us. This year, in light of what we have recently experienced as a nation, our families and loved ones are all the more precious. While this is a time for giving it seems appropriate to reexamine what giving truly means. Of course we are going to buy gifts for our children and exchange presents with loved ones. But perhaps now the focus of the season will be less about showering our children with toys and more about considering what's most meaningful in our lives.

As busy people we often find ourselves rushing through our days barely having time to connect, in a meaningful way with our kids. One of the most essential gifts you can give your kids is the gift of your time. It's what they crave the most and what is in the shortest supply. Perhaps, this holiday one of the gifts you can give each of your children is a certificate for: an afternoon with mom or dad to go for a bike ride, or a date to go rollerblading. Get creative and think about what your kids have been asking you to do. The destination is less important than the commitment to spend together.

Another essential aspect of this holiday season, is sharing all the blessings we have by making a contribution to the larger community. This year, more than ever, it is that much more important to teach our children the importance of gratitude and responsibility to our larger family. Giving and caring are qualities we must instill in our children if they are to grow up to be responsible, compassionate adults.

When my daughter was still living at home we used to participate in a food drive. It was one of the high points of our holidays. We would go to a warehouse and make up boxes filled with ham, oranges, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, vegetables, a complete dinner. The next day we would join a group of people and go to a site to distribute the food to needy families. I can't tell you how wonderful the experience was. In fact, we've made this part of our holiday tradition.

There are so many worthy causes. Perhaps this holiday season you can have a conversation with your family about what charity or organization you would like to make a contribution to either by contributing, your time, energy or financial resources. President Bush has asked each child to contribute a dollar to The Afghan Children's Relief Fund, a fund to help the children of Afghanistan.

One family I know makes a contribution to the Heifer Project as gifts for family and friends. Through the Heifer project you can purchase a farm animal for an impoverished family.(800-422-0474) Another family made a holiday card, on their computer and gave a donation to their local free clinic in each of their friend's names. Another parent wrote a column for her local newspaper that said, "If you're feeling sick of conspicuous consumption here are a list of charities that need your support." It doesn't matter what you chose to do as long as you do something. While we can't change the world, we can begin to repair a small portion of it while we instill values of caring, compassion and responsibility in our children.

I think that you'll find that in giving to others you will discover a newfound sense of joy and satisfaction and the true meaning of this blessed Season. Happy Holiday and Peace on Earth.

Stephanie Marston is the author of If Not Now, When? Reclaiming Ourselves at Midlife. To learn more about her book, visit her website at: www.stephaniemarston.com. Click here to read a sample chapter of If Not Now, When? Reclaiming Ourselves at Midlife If you would like information about Stephanie speaking to your organization, please call 505-989-7596.