4. The Ugly Christmas Tree

4. The Ugly Christmas Tree

From Chicken Soup for the Soul: Merry Christmas!

The Ugly Christmas Tree

The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!

~Charles N. Barnard

I hate our Christmas tree!

Short and spindly, it doesn’t look right!

And up on top the star won’t light.

The bulbs have blown. The branches droop.

It’s bending and bowing and starting to stoop!

Needles are dropping all over the floor.

By tomorrow there won’t be any more.

It’s skimpy and scraggly. It looks awfully thin.

It’s leaning to one side. Half dead! Done in!

One side has boughs. The other is bare.

There’s a hole in the middle. No branches, just air!

It’s Christmas Eve, so we have to make do.

It’s got to be ready for you-know-who.

Santa will come down the chimney quick as a flash.

Deliver the presents; then off he will dash.

He’s got millions of children to visit tonight.

We can’t hold him up ‘cause our tree isn’t right.

We’ll decorate the boughs with strings of light.

Twinkling red, green, yellow, blue, and white.

We’ll hang the ornaments one by one.

And won’t stop till the job is done.

Place a red ball here and a blue one there,

A silver bell, an angel, and a teddy bear.

A nutcracker, a Santa, and all kinds of fruit.

Snowflakes, a bird, and a horn that can toot.

We’ll hang stars and snowmen and even some mice.

And one or two reindeer would be very nice.

Next comes the garland, all shiny and bright.

Wrapped ’round the tree, it’s a beautiful sight.

Now hang the tinsel. Drape every strand.

It always looks pretty, no matter the brand.

My, but this tree is looking quite nice.

So lovely, in fact, that I have to look twice.

Much better than last year’s, so stately and green.

It’s the prettiest Christmas tree I’ve ever seen!

~Mary Vigliante Szydlowski

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