9: From Mourning to Morning

9: From Mourning to Morning

From Chicken Soup for the Soul: Miraculous Messages from Heaven

From Mourning to Morning

God can heal a broken heart, but He has to have all the pieces.

~Author Unknown

It had been several sad and lonely months since my three-month-old son Travis had died from congenital heart disease. I was so angry with God for taking my son that I vowed to never pray to Him again.

There was just one problem. My four-year-old son Aaron missed his brother dearly and would ask me questions every day like, “Mommy, what’s Heaven like?”

“Mommy, can I go to Heaven and see Travis?” Or, “Mommy, why can’t Daddy go get Travis and bring him home?” These are tough questions, especially when you are mad at God.

I couldn’t stand the thought of infecting Aaron with the bitterness that was consuming me. I had taught him every day of his young life that Jesus loved him. I could not destroy that faith. I knew I had to find peace beyond my grief so that I could be a good mother to Aaron.

Finally, one night, as I lay alone on my bed, I poured out my heart to God — my anger, bitterness and pain. I prayed, “Lord, I have tried to change, but I can’t; so if you want me whole again, you will have to do it.”

Suddenly, the room was filled with an almost palpable peace and I heard God speak to my heart, “Louise, Travis is with me.” Then, to my amazement, I felt the weight of my baby son placed against my breast and could almost feel his soft, baby hair brush against my cheek. I couldn’t open my eyes as tears streamed across my temples, soaking my hair. I lay absolutely still, allowing God to comfort me in a way I had never known as I continued listening to His gentle whisper: “Travis is okay. He’s with me.”

When I awoke the next morning, the bitterness and anger were gone. I still missed my son terribly. I still had no explanation as to why he was taken. But I had the most intimate encounter with God’s love and presence that I had ever experienced in my entire life.

~Louise Tucker Jones

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