Best Friends or what ?

Best Friends or what ?

In 2013, I created my FaceBook account. In that year our school had a trend to make FaceBook accounts for talking. My classmate(KK) whom I never talked much only some little bit talks asked me whether we can talk on facebook. I said ok we can talk. From there on our friendship began. We talked each and every day and had a lot of fun. I had a crush on an boy which shifted to our class which became KK's friend. He too then became my friend. My heart bounced each time I met him but I hadn't told about him to KK. I was afraid as what he will react. I really cared for A very much. I knew that the boy i had a crush on is not good..he used to play with girls(also now he does that). But still my heart didn't cared about it..I really loved him very much..Suddenly a situation came IN 2014, when I have to kiss him (I wanted to kiss but also didn't wanted to kiss as I was confused). But he didn't love me.. it was a time pass for him..then on that day I told KK about our kiss ( I didn't told that i wanted to..I told that he forced me...Actually he forced me and blackmailed me. I thought A wouldn't believe me)
I told KK about it because I cared for KK. I didn't want to hide anything from him. As the boy cam close to me KK and I too became very much close friends He then (the boy I had crush on) ditched me..he told everyone about the kiss and also told that we were in a relationship when it was not..he told that we both agreed to kiss even this wasn't the truth..i found myself very guilty and ashamed...classmates used to tease me with his name . I felt down..KK to use to think that I still love him..I then became somewhat quiet..but i didn't quit talking to KK. I kept talking to KK in my summer holidays of 2014.. I felt little bit that KK is changed..he had crush on a girl..i felt kind of jealous and sad when he talked about her. I somewhat fall in love with him. Then on a night I talked to KK on phone and the next day I came to school, everything was changed even KK .. he made new friends..I felt awkard..He on that day too didn't ask me to stay on Facebook. I felt completely sad. From their on i talked very less with KK. I became very quite in class..everyone thought this was because i love that boy till now but it wasn't so..I was quite because of KK as we didn't talk much. KK then asked me why I didn't talk to him. He wanted to save our friendship but I replied that nothing happened .. I didn't know what to say. I then became very quiet(I am know also) ..and had no talks in school.. this way continues till now (now in 2015) .. I am sad..I was kind of falling for him...But I didn't wanted to be his girlfriend..I didn't wanted to be KK's girlfriend because I didn't want to spoil our friendship...I think(now) that if I became his girlfriend, we could never have fun of friends we had. So for now I only want to talk to him, to become his friend again.. I tried much to talk but hadn't such courage .. now he too doesn't talk to me..I feel kind of ignored...I feel sad..It is too affecting my scores in class.. I didn't take part in debates or anything else as i lost my confidence and courage.. I felt sad each time I see him.
Now just tell me what to do? How can I be friend with him again? Do I love him or is this a friend kinda love? I am confused. I want to get back in my life..I want to be happy.. Tell me what should I do?

Tanmayee Sep. 01, 2015, 1:44 AM | In Love & Relationships | Answer this!
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