72: Granny’s Bible

72: Granny’s Bible

From Chicken Soup for the Soul: For Mom, with Love

Granny’s Bible

A single conversation with a wise man is better than ten years of study.

~Chinese Proverb

I will never forget the first time I heard my granny quote the Bible. No, not the King James version. You know which one I’m talking about. The one that you actually live by every day of your life.

I was about eight years old at the time and a real brat. I had been fighting with the little girl next door and she was almost as mean as I was. We were pretty deep into battle when she threw a rock and hit me square between the eyes. Clutching my head and sobbing, I ran straight into the house to tattle. Granny met me at the door after seeing me come running across the lawn and hearing my screams.

“What’s wrong?” she asked in her usual gruff way.

“That little girl threw a rock and hit me in the head,” I managed through the tears.

“Well,” said Granny smugly, “you just go pick up the biggest rock you can find and hit her back!”

I stopped crying immediately. “But Granny,” I stammered. “I don’t think…”

“Listen,” she interrupted. “The Bible says feed them out of the same spoon.” I happily obeyed. I never realized it then, but that was only the beginning of a lifetime of “Bible quotes” that would help me through life’s biggest obstacles.

Several years later, and before I had enough sense to realize it, I was engaged to be married. My fiancé left it up to me to pick our wedding date. I unknowingly picked the date on which his mother had died many years ago. Instead of telling me that he didn’t want to get married on this particular day, he told me he didn’t want to marry me at all! I was simply heartbroken. I wandered through the house until I found Granny sewing in the den. I fell on my knees, laid my head in her lap, and started to cry.

“Granny, my fiancé doesn’t love me. He doesn’t want to marry me,” I said.

“Well, that no good punk,” she said angrily. “You just go tell him that the Bible says what goes around comes around. Someday he’ll want to marry a girl and she’ll do him the way he’s doing you.”

“But Granny,” I said, “I don’t think that the…”

“Listen,” she interrupted. “You just go tell him what I said. You’ll get your feller back.” I married him in two months.

After our first three months of married bliss, we had our first fight. Oh, how that broke my heart. Packing my bags, I decided to go back home. When Granny saw me coming up the walk, she met me at the door.

“Well, what’s wrong?” she asked. I was already clenching my jaw to keep from crying.

“We had a huge fight and he called me a spoiled brat,” I told her.

“Come here,” she said wearily. Putting her arm around my shoulder, she guided me into the kitchen where she put water on for tea. “So he called you a spoiled brat,” she said over the whistle of the kettle. She looked very thoughtful as she poured water into waiting cups. “Okay,” she said. “You just go right back home and tell him that the Bible says it takes one to know one.”

“But Granny,” I started to say, “I don’t think…”

“Listen,” she interrupted, “I was reading the Bible before you were even a twinkle in your daddy’s eye.” I did as she said and that was our last fight for a long time.

Before long I was expecting my first baby. Granny put me right to work crocheting a baby blanket. I could crochet fairly well, but let’s just say Martha Stewart would never hire me to make anything for her. I became extremely flustered and did a double loop when I should have done a single.

“Oh gosh,” I wailed. “I’ll never learn this.” I showed her what I had done. “Granny, I’m just going to do another double and no one will ever know the difference.” That was the wrong thing to say.

“Yes it will make a difference,” she said sternly. “Besides, the Bible says that two wrongs don’t make a right.”

My mouth dropped to the floor. “But Granny,” I said. “I don’t think the Bible…”

“Listen,” she interrupted, “do you want your baby bundled in a blanket that wasn’t made properly?” I unraveled the whole thing and started over.

I took my son to see Granny a while ago. She was sitting on her front porch crocheting and drinking tea. She was getting old but her usual spunk was still there. I sat down in the chair beside her and poured myself some tea. My son toddled off into the house to find the treat that Granny always had for him. After a while, we got to talking and forgot all about him. “Oh no,” I gasped at the realization. “I forgot all about that kid.”

As I started to get up, Granny reached for my arm and gently pushed me back down into my chair.

“You think he’s going to keep meddling when he hears you coming? No, he’s smarter than that,” she added, with pride in her eyes. “Besides, the Bible says that you have to lay over to catch a meddler.”

“But Granny,” I said, “I don’t think,” and then I stopped. All through my years Granny had been quoting me the Bible. Her Bible, and it had always solved whatever problems had been thrown in my path. Smiling and shaking my head, I went into the house to get my son. Carrying him out on the porch, I placed him in the chair beside Granny. “Well Granny,” I said, “I think I’m going to run to the store and get us all some ice cream.” Pointing to my son, I asked, “Do you mind if he stays here? I’ll only be a minute.”

“Sure,” she nodded. As I turned the car around and headed down the drive, I stopped and looked in my rearview mirror. There they were, two of the most precious people in my life: she, leaning over and quoting her Bible and he, hanging on to every precious word. I knew how he felt. He’ll question it someday, but when he grows up he’ll realize everything he holds dear is because of the Bible — Granny’s Unforgettable Bible.

~Robin Rylee Harderson

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