48. Living Big and Beautiful

48. Living Big and Beautiful

From Chicken Soup for the Soul: Curvy & Confident

Living Big and Beautiful

Sex appeal is fifty percent what you’ve got and fifty percent what people think you’ve got.

~Sophia Loren

I have never been skinny. Much to my chagrin, I don’t believe I ever will be. I have calves too big for knee-high boots, thighs that rub together, arms that jiggle, and a chin with a twin. For many years I believed these were flaws and wondered if I could be loved.

No one believes me, but I am healthy. Really healthy. I get sick about once every five years, and it only lasts for about three days. I am strong as an ox and have stronger legs than a cross-country runner. I can lift 45 pounds with one arm. I can walk five miles straight without stopping. My blood pressure is low, as are my sugars. I am healthy.

After struggling with my self-image for many years, I made the decision that I would accept myself exactly as I was. Despite deciding this, I struggled with these things. Deciding is one thing, practicing is another. I have plenty to love and appreciate about myself. I am independent, smart, funny, caring, and creative, but I am “fat.”

Try as I did, it took seeing myself through other people’s eyes to finally appreciate myself physically. I had always received compliments on my looks, but dismissed them. Friends and family would rave about how beautiful I was. One day I met a wonderful man, who has forced me to see myself as he does, and finally accept how others see me.

He is teaching me that I am beautiful exactly as I am. He tells me how beautiful those things I thought of as flaws are. He shows me his appreciation of who I am inside and out, with constant reminders of his love. I have learned to accept those things I saw as flaws and love my whole self. I appreciate who I am and present myself with an air of confidence and comfort.

After struggling with my self-image for many years, I made the decision that I would accept myself exactly as I was.

This is what I have needed. This is what I have been waiting for. I have never needed to be prettier, thinner, smarter, funnier. I have only needed to be me. Beautiful, unique me. We are all perfectly ourselves. This world needs us exactly as we are. Always work toward a better you, but never wish you were better. You are just what you are supposed to be.

~Danielle Sibila

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