31: What Mothers Learn

31: What Mothers Learn

From Chicken Soup for the Soul: Best Mom Ever!

What Mothers Learn

The only source of knowledge is experience.

~Albert Einstein

MATERNITY CLOTHES

1st Baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/ GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd Baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd Baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

PREPARING FOR THE BIRTH

1st Baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd Baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time breathing didn’t do a thing.

3rd Baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

THE LAYETTE

1st Baby: You pre-wash newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.

2nd Baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd Baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?

WORRIES

1st Baby: At the first sign of distress — a whimper, a frown — you pick up the baby.

2nd Baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd Baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

PACIFIER

1st Baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can get home to wash and boil it.

2nd Baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.

3rd Baby: You wipe it off on your shirt, pop it back in, and compliment yourself on building your child’s immune system.

DIAPERING

1st Baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether the child needs it or not.

2nd Baby: You change the diaper every two to three hours, but only if needed.

3rd Baby: You try to change the diaper before others start to complain about the smell or it is visibly sagging.

ACTIVITIES

1st Baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, Baby Zoo, Baby Puppet Show, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd Baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd Baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

GOING OUT

1st Baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

2nd Baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd Baby: You tell the sitter not to call unless there is bleeding.

AT HOME

1st Baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd Baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd Baby: You spend a bit of every day hiding from your children.

SWALLOWING COINS:

1st Child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand X-rays.

2nd Child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd Child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his allowance.

FAMILY PHOTOS

1st Baby: You snap a shot of every new milestone: first burp, first smile, first sitting up, first tooth, first banana, first step, first birthday party…

2nd Baby: You take photos of the two kids together.

3rd Baby: “Mommy, how come there are no pictures of me?”

~Chava Dumas

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