Will You Trust Me?

Will You Trust Me?

From Chicken Soup for the Soul: Devotional Stories for Tough Times

Will You Trust Me?

~Bonus Devotion~

By Mary Beth Chapman

How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the LORD’s praise, for he has been good to me.

~Psalm 13:1-6

Have you ever found yourself in the “place” where the Psalmist was as he cried out this desperate prayer? Psalms like this one have become very precious to me as I have wrestled with my own thoughts and feelings of being “unloved,” and wondering if and when God will come to my rescue.

I learned a little more about this prayer one night while trying to get our tiny Stevey Joy to swallow a tiny pill. Even at eight years old, she still has a very difficult time taking any kind of medicine in pill form. After trying for several minutes to no avail, and sensing myself growing frustrated, I “tagged” Dad and told him it was his turn to try. The longer Dad tried, the more upset both he and Stevey Joy became. He began to resort to all kinds of tactics, which resulted in more frustration. Finally, in desperation, she looked up at Steven and asked through her tears, “Daddy, don’t you love me?” In other words, she was saying, “Daddy, if you love me, why would you be putting me through such misery and discomfort?”

In this moment, I could see myself in my little girl, looking up at her daddy and not able to understand why something so unpleasant, even scary and painful, would be allowed to come into my life. If God really loves me, why wouldn’t He stop these hard providences from happening? Has He forgotten me? Will this sorrow in my heart ever go away? How long will my enemy be allowed to “triumph” over me like he seems to be doing in this moment? Does God really love me after all?

Steven tried to explain to Stevey Joy that not only did he and I love her very much, but even this thing that seemed so “unlovely” — like being made to take a pill — was in fact an act of love and for her good. Now it would be up to her to decide whether or not she would trust us.

In the same way, I can imagine all the times that we might pray or think those words, “God, don’t you love me?” He responds with tears in His eyes, “More than you can imagine... So much that I gave my own Son to show how great my love is for you, and absolutely nothing can separate you from my love (Romans 8:38-39). ‘I know the plans I have for you… plans to give you hope and a future’ (Jeremiah 29:11). Now, will you trust me?”

When we find ourselves in those dark places like the Psalmist found himself in Psalm 13, crying out our questions and our pain to God, may the loudest cry of our heart be, “But I TRUST in your unfailing love... You have been good to me... I TRUST YOU!”

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