66: Check Your Bag

66: Check Your Bag

From Chicken Soup for the Soul: Tales of Golf and Sport

Check Your Bag

A golfer’s diet: live on greens as much as possible.

~Author Unknown

My brother Maurice and three of his buddies—Sam, Renwick and Earl—have a regular golf game every Friday during the summer. In order to make the game interesting and even, they use handicaps. As a result of this, Maurice and Earl are partners, and Sam and Renwick play together.

Maurice never walks the golf course and is always trying to get one of the other guys to ride with him. This particular Friday in July, it was very warm, and he asked Renwick to ride with him.

It just so happens that Renwick had been on a health kick for a couple of months, so he told Maurice that he would prefer to walk. Renwick had lost about twenty pounds and had just purchased a carry bag from the pro shop, deciding that toting, rather than using a pull cart as he walked the course, would help him stay in shape.

Maurice candidly cautioned Renwick, “Remember, you are fifty-eight years old. Walking the course is one thing; carrying your bag for eighteen holes is something else.”

Nevertheless, Renwick insisted on walking, and off they went.

After nine holes, Renwick said to one of the other guys who was walking, “I think Maurice was right. Carrying this bag is wearing me out.”

Naturally, the other guy suggested that Renwick ask Maurice for a ride in the cart, to which Renwick stubbornly replied, “Not a chance. If you think I will admit this to Maurice, you are crazy.”

They continued on. Renwick struggled but refused to give Maurice the satisfaction of giving up.

At about the 12th hole, Sam confided in Maurice, “Renwick realizes carrying the golf bag was a bad idea, but will not admit it to you because he knows he will be in for a real good ribbing.”

Shortly after hearing this, Maurice called Renwick over and said, “Are you getting tired of carrying that golf bag? Why don’t you take a load off and put the bag on the cart?”

Renwick grimaced but replied, “No thanks. It’s not bad at all.”

With a sly grin, Maurice continued, “Then why don’t you unzip that side pocket and lighten your load?”

Knowing he’d been had, Renwick unzipped the side pocket, where he discovered two rocks—slightly smaller than a couple of footballs—that he had been carrying for twelve holes!

Needless to say, Renwick had some choice words for Maurice, while Sam and Earl were rolling on the tee, laughing until they were crying.

And rest assured, Renwick now checks his bag for foreign objects before every golf game... particularly on Fridays.

~Robert Lalonde
Chicken Soup for the Golfer’s Soul, The 2nd Round

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