From Chicken Soup for the Soul in Menopause


I’m still hot,

but now it comes in flashes,

I still got it, but to find it,

I’ll need my glasses.

Alas, the pimples have subsided,

at least upon my face,

Now I have the finest of lines

to camouflage and erase.

Yes, I’m refining

like a quality wine

I only blow my cork

some of the time.

My figure may not be

what it once was,

Now there’s much, much more

of me to love!

I’m wiser than

I was so long ago,

But, where are my car keys?

That’s what I need to know!

Mother Nature may be cruel

and at times dreadfully unfair,

Tell me, why does she reward longevity

with gray roots and unwanted facial hair?

I’ll get her back,

that nasty old hag,

For I have a few tricks

in my own makeup bag.

I have creams for dryness,

wrinkles, bumps, and spots,

And tonics to slosh down

when I get untimely hots,

I have many potions

to correct the gray,

And elixirs to vanish

that peach fuzz (ouch) away.

With a dab of this

and a pinch of that,

I tell you this

woman’s looking PHAT!

Hurrah! Hurrah!

And yippee for me!

You see, I’m no longer

a hormonal-in-between,

I’ve graduated, and now I’m a

Many-Applause-al-Beauty Queen!

Jacqueline Michels

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