From Chicken Soup for the Sister's Soul

How to Torture Your Sister

Wander into the room when she calls a friend on the telephone. Pick up a book and sit down on the couch. Pretend to read, then mimic her as she begins her telephone conversation.

Hi, how are you? Hi, how are you? Wha’d you do today? Wha’d you do today? What? Wait a minute, my sister’s driving me crazy. Would you cut it out? Would you cut it out?

You dirty creep. You dirty creep. Stop repeating me! Stop repeating me! I said STOP! I said STOP! STOP IT! STOP IT!

Put book down and run.

SHE is eating peanuts. Whisper in her ear, “You can turn into an elephant if you eat too many peanuts. I read it in the World Book.

FOLLOW her everywhere.

IMITATE her best friend talking. Say that her best friend is fat.

TALK to your mother while your sister is listening: “Do you remember Christmas when I was three years old and you gave me that stuffed animal? That was so much fun.” Turn to your sister. “You weren’t alive.”

Delia Ephron

For Better or For Worse®

by Lynn Johnston

FOR A BETTER OR FOR WORSE. © United Feature Syndicate.

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