33: The Future Is in Plastics

33: The Future Is in Plastics

From Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Cat Did What?

The Future Is in Plastics

Chemicals, n: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.

~Author Unknown

“It’s normal for some cats to do that,” my veterinarian told me in answer to my anxious questions on the phone. “Most of them outgrow it.”

“But will it hurt him? Will he get sick? What if his insides get all plugged up?”

She laughed. “None of that is likely. He’ll either throw it up or poop it out. I’ve never had to operate on a cat whose intestines were all twisted up with bits of plastic wrap.”

Only I could bring home a cat who fervently, obsessively, compulsively, searches out plastic of all types to supplement his diet. And it’s not just the plastic bags I leave sitting on the counter after a trip to the grocery store.

Little Simon will dig through my purse to find a small plastic sandwich bag I’ve tucked in there that contains my medications. He will pull all the towels from the linen cubbyhole to get to a disposable shower cap brought home from a motel visit.

One day he ate the plastic wrap off a microwave TV dinner, then followed it up with the plastic window from a box of Christmas ornaments!

He’s eaten the bottom out of the thin, transparent produce bag containing zucchini, and then managed to open the kitchen drawer where I store such bags to help himself to a similar snack in the middle of the night.

Bread sacks must be hidden inside the freezer or the oven, because he hasn’t figured out how to open either of those doors yet.

I’ve been so frustrated when I find yet another plastic bag with the bottom chewed off that I even briefly considered just wadding a few of them up and stuffing them into his cat bowl instead of kibbles!

Who knew that green plastic Easter grass, pulled from the basket of silk flowers on the coffee table, could be included in the list of feline major food groups?

I have occasionally found my toothbrush, comb and disposable razor under the dining room table. Thank goodness he didn’t manage to swallow them!

But the strangest thing to date was when my fluorescent orange earplugs disappeared. I knew I’d left them on the bedroom bureau, so where did they go?

I noticed that the top dresser drawer was open, but they hadn’t fallen inside. I moved the bureau out from the wall to take a look behind when it suddenly dawned on me: Simon!

And yes, after some investigation, I found one of the earplugs under the dining room table, torn nearly in half. Looking for the other one, I found five more earplugs in a hoarded stash behind the recliner in the rec room!

Simon is over a year old now, and it’s been nine months since my vet told me that most cats will outgrow their compulsion to eat plastic. Most, but apparently not all.

~Jan Bono

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