What's Wrong with Me?

What's Wrong with Me?

I'm a 50 something recently retired married lady. I am a pretty happy all around mother, (recently become) mother-in-law, daughter and wife. I have a great home. I love to garden. I practice yoga and workout. I am a Mommy to 5 miniature dachshunds, some are rescues. I'm training the youngest puppy to be a therapy dog. My husband and I travel a few times every year. I keep a travel blog. My husband, Rich and I have been happily married for 16 years. We lived in Singapore for 3 years too. So, I really love my life!

But over the past 6-8 years I have noticed my friends have been declining. I will invite a friend or two to coffee or lunch and sometimes it doesn't happen. It doesn't bother me much.

This next part has been bothering me more and more lately. My husband and I like to have fun gatherings. Sometimes they are dinner parties and sometimes wine tasting parties, (we belong to a few California wine clubs where we get a couple shipments every year) and some are simple picnics on our backyard deck. When we invite our friends to these parties. I've noticed that most all of his friends either respond positively and attend and my friends either do NOT respond or say no to the event with some excuse or other. It started the last 2 years of my employment, before I retired. Some of the people I invited were bosses with whom I have had a pretty good relationship. (I've attended some of their events, gone to lunch, etc.). Other friends are coworkers, people I've known from from friends of friends, campaign caucuses, parties, and so on.

Yesterday, I just sent out a simple headcount request for another upcoming wine tasting party a month and a half away. So far, some of our mutual friends responded, mostly his friends, and I have had 1 yes so far.

Rich tells me to stop inviting them if I continuously get negative or NO responses. But in my mind, maybe it's because they have scheduling conflicts or some reasonable excuse. But then I wonder, is it me? Is it something about me they don't like? What's wrong with me?

Should I be looking at this thing differently? Am I asking the right questions? I just don't know what to believe anymore.

Suggestions anyone?

Tonihil Aug. 17, 2015, 9:46 AM | In Positive Living | Replies (2)

2 Replies

mgpappa's picture

I can understand why you may be feeling frustrated over these responses from people you truly enjoy spending time with. Their responses, or lack there of, could be attributed to scheduling conflicts and forgetfulness. To better understand the reasoning, you may want to be forthcoming and simply ask if there is a better day that works for them so you know for future events. You won't know if you don't ask!

Kalyani Mudumba's picture

There's nothing wrong with you which I learnt from the above lines. All you have to do is try in a different way. Change is always good.Change the process of inviting them.If you were inviting them over the phone, why don't you try something fancy like sending a bottle of wine(as you are fond of them) with a message on it which says," hey, let's rock!". It might sound way too youngish but age has nothing to do with having fun.Never feel low for doing nothing wrong as it declines your confidence levels gradually.
let me know if this works.

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