Relish love in our old age! Aged love is like aged wine; it becomes more satisfying, more refreshing, more valuable, more appreciated and more intoxicating.
~Leo Buscaglia
Normally, my husband had a lot to say when he got home from work, but so far he hadn’t uttered more than a few words. I waited while he slathered his tacos with a mountain of salsa and sour cream before I finally broke the silence.
“So, how was work?”
“Okay,” he shrugged, picking at his food, “except the women I work with called me a lousy husband again.”
“What for this time?” I asked.
“Our anniversary,” he said. “They couldn’t believe I didn’t take you out for dinner last night or buy you an expensive gift.”
Valentine’s Day, Christmas, my birthday — these women loved teasing my husband for not coming through in the “romance department,” even though he’d explained several times that I’m the kind of wife who would rather get a bag of Brussels sprouts, a package of gumdrops, or a scenic ride in the car as opposed to a diamond necklace or an expensive dinner. Besides, we loved celebrating at home.
“I hope you reminded those women that I’m not high-maintenance,” I answered, shaking my head at their nonsense.
Suddenly, his face lit up like a Christmas tree. “I did remind them. I also told them that obviously I’m not that lousy of a husband since I get daily love letters from my wife — and their husbands don’t.”
I couldn’t help but smile. My husband adored his “love letters” and had often mentioned them to the people he worked with, although what he calls “letters” are more like little notes.
Early in our marriage, I’d confessed to my husband that I never wanted to become one of those loving but crotchety wives who barked at their husband over trivial issues. Yet, after wading through several stressful months, that’s exactly what I’d done, and I hadn’t even realized it. Horrified with my actions, I wanted to ensure that I never turned into that kind of wife again.
Throughout the many years, I’ve left sticky notes in my husband’s cooler for him to read during his lunch hour. He never knows when he’ll get one but enjoys my notes and even writes back to me. That gave me a brilliant idea.
Each day, I decided to set aside time to think about my husband and why I was grateful for him on that particular day. On a piece of scrap paper, I scribbled him a note and left it on his nightstand where he’d find it after he got home from work each evening.
My notes are simple but sincere.
“I am grateful for your understanding.”
“I’m grateful to you for taking me to my doctor’s appointment yesterday.”
“I’m grateful for your sense of humor and your laughter on a day when I needed it most.”
Once in a while, I get carried away, and his note overflows with mush. I always end the note with “xoxoxoxox.”
Of course, my husband thinks that I started the tradition to show him how much I love and appreciate him, but I actually wrote the notes for me.
When life is hectic and disasters abound, when the bills pile up and money is tight, even when all is peaceful and right in our world, I never want to forget the many chapters it took to get us together and on the same page. I feel so blessed to have my husband by my side and never want to take him for granted or forget how I feel about him.
Initially, I planned on leaving him notes for one month, but those little expressions of gratitude meant so much to my husband and made such a difference in my life that they’ve become a part of our world now. Even though he knows I love him, and I know I love him, it’s like feeding the fire one more log — those daily “love letters” keep our love burning a bit warmer and brighter each day.
I think it’s pretty neat that my husband tells everyone that he gets daily love letters from his wife, especially since we’re old farts who have celebrated thirty-one years of marriage so far. As an added plus, when it comes to his co-workers, his “love letters” are a great defense and prove to those women that no matter what they think, I’m crazy about my husband!
— Jill Burns —
