Every survival kit should include a sense of humor.
~Author Unknown

I am organized and tidy, but sometimes I have to let things go. My daughter Lizzie’s high-school graduation was one of those times. The day came in the middle of my end-of-the-year teaching responsibilities. Add hosting a graduation party and volunteering for the all-night grad party at her high school to my to-do list, and it was no wonder my house ended up being a mess.

On my way out the front door to the ceremony, I glanced back at bags of groceries left sitting on my kitchen counter. Dirty dishes, pots, and pans were piled up in the sink, left over from a hastily made macaroni-and-cheese dinner. Realizing that nothing needed to be refrigerated, I left the bags slumped over with a loaf of bread and several bags of chips overflowing onto the counter.

I also hadn’t vacuumed all week, and our dog Cagney’s hair was all over the living room. Upstairs, the outfits I had decided not to wear lay crumpled on my bedroom floor, and my make-up and hair curlers were spread out in the bathroom.

Picking up my keys and closing the front door, I gave one final look and clicked the key in the lock. A little voice assured me, “Valli, don’t worry. No one will ever know. You can spend the whole day taking care of everything tomorrow.”

The graduation ceremony was beautiful, with congratulatory hugs and photos all around. As the new graduates threw their caps in the air, our college-age son Adam, my husband Mike, and I gathered our programs and flowers and left for Lizzie’s graduation party with her friends at our community center. It was a wonderful family celebration.

Later, while everyone at the party shared their memories of the day, Mike tapped me on the shoulder and said, “We better get going to the all-night grad party. It’s getting close to the time for our shift.” We quickly gathered our remaining party items and decided to make a short stop at our house. We dumped the extra sandwiches, pieces of graduation cake, and party balloons wherever we could find space. I let Cagney out the back door in the laundry room and rushed up the stairs to refresh my make-up.

Knowing Adam had a key to our house, we headed out to the all-night grad party. Once again, walking out the door, I took a moment. I looked back and noticed even more enormous mounds of items lying everywhere. I assured myself, “Valli, no one will ever know. You can take care of everything tomorrow.”

At the all-night grad party, Mike enjoyed being the dealer at the “poker table” with the graduates while I passed out their goody bags full of coupons and gift cards. Finally, at 3:00 A.M., the next shift of volunteer parents came to replace us, and we headed home. Mike sighed and said, “Even though this day was so memorable, I can’t wait to get home and get some sleep.”

Just as we turned onto our street, a security car zipped by us. Adam was standing outside the front door as we parked in the driveway. Walking up the sidewalk, I asked, “Did you notice the security car on our street? I wonder what they were doing in our neighborhood at this time of night.”

Adam explained, “Well, they just left our house.”

“What happened? Are you okay?” I exclaimed. I quickly looked him over from head to toe but didn’t notice any blood or bandages. Even the house looked the same as I had left it.

Adam answered, “I called them because when I came home, the place looked ransacked. I thought that maybe someone had broken in even though Cagney was still here. We all know he isn’t much of a watchdog, so I called them to check on our house.”

Mike asked, “How long were they here?”

“I guess for about a half-hour. The men asked me if anything was missing. I really couldn’t tell. Nothing looked normal to me. So, they asked to check the entire house to make sure that no one was still here,” Adam explained.

I gasped. “They checked everywhere? Surely not the upstairs, too?”

Adam said, “Yes. When they went downstairs, they noticed the laundry-room door was open, and piles of clothes were thrown all over the floor by the washing machine. They asked if I wanted them to check the downstairs and the bedrooms and bathrooms upstairs. They even checked all our closets. The entire house. I was so glad they didn’t find anyone.”

I turned around and saw the mess I had left. I could imagine the conversation as they drove away from our house. Security guard 1: “Man, Bob, I can’t imagine living in a place like that. Food was lying out all over the kitchen counters.”

Security guard 2: “Yep! It looked like they just threw everything all over the place, everywhere downstairs and upstairs. It looks like it might eventually turn into a serious hoarder problem.”

1: “When I get home at night, I always tell my wife, ‘You never really know how other people live.’ ”

Shaking my head as I walked upstairs to our bedroom for some much-needed rest, I whispered to myself, “I can’t believe it! Why did I think that no one would ever know?”

— Valli Cowan —